Covenant Couple

Christian Pre-Marital Counseling for the LGBT Nation

We provide Christian Counseling
for engaged LGBT couples.

Testimony from Pre-Marital Counseling

To make sure that I start this testimony and recollection of my personal experience of mine and T. s weekend of pre-marital counseling off on the right foot, let me begin by saying that it is a must have before anyone begins the wonderful journal of marriage with their soul mate.

I walked into my engagement with T. as a gay Christian that thought I couldn’t be gay and live a full Christian life, reaping all the wonderful blessing and favors of Jesus Christ. I didn’t think I had a right to witness, or testify. I knew that I was saved, but thought that God was ashamed of me because of my undeniable love for T.. It wasn’t until I met Leah and Amy that I realized that I could witness and testify because God wasn’t ashamed of me, He loved me and He always will. This was the beginning of fixing me. Leah and Amy put so much effort into preparing their home, themselves, and us, together and as individuals, before we ever set out on our road trip from Laurel, Mississippi to Atlanta, Georgia. Weeks prior to our counseling weekend we submitted our testimonies and life stories to Leah and Amy. We had homework that consisted of learning Bible verses and studying certain topics together and separately. We even read a few books. We searched ourselves, and we hid no secrets about our past or about who we were from Leah and Amy. They knew everything and it was very important they did.

The first book that we were given for homework was titled The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman. In detail this book taught us the five different languages of love, Words of Affirmation, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. After reading the book we were given a quiz that resulted in revealing to us our love languages. The purpose of the book was to teach us what the other one needed to know and to feel loved. I was 50/50 with Words of Affirmation and Physical Touch. By knowing my love languages T. knew that she needed to speak her love for me with compliments and at that time, because we were not yet married, give me lots of very quick hugs and kisses. T. was also bilingual in her language of love, she scored high in Words of Affirmation and Quality Time. I knew what I needed to make sure T. knew she was the love of my life, but was somewhat stumped with the fact that Quality Time was one of her love languages, because I didn't know how to spend time with T. and it be considered quality.

The day before we left I acquired a lump in my throat, to what I believed to be the size of a watermelon! It wouldn’t go away. I was excited, scared, nervous, and anxious for so many different reasons. One reason was the fact that we had never met Amy and had only seen Leah for about 10 minutes at Pride. My family kept reminding me that I didn’t know these people and to be careful staying in a strangers home. Leah and Amy were not strangers to us, we had talked to them, corresponded via e-mail and mail, these people knew more about us then our worried family members. The trip to Atlanta was great. T. and I both worshiped and sang the whole way there. It was a wonderful time of fellowship just for the two of us. When we pulled onto their street I remember thinking here we go. I was so nervous. I knew that my life was about to change, I just never imagined to what extreme. As soon as Leah and Amy came outside to greet us I was totally comfortable and relaxed.

We basically got to know each other that Thursday night. Leah and Amy have the gift of entertaining and making a person feel "right at home." We engaged in wonderful conversation and begin making great memories from the start. T. even loosened up and joined in the conversation which I had only seen her do on very few occasions, especially with someone she just met. I, being a stickler for structure and scheduling was somewhat taken with the fact that we did not really have an agenda. It was going to happen when God was ready for it to happen. It was amazing to see two people selflessly plan a weekend of ministering and just let go and let God have 100% control.

Friday morning we were able to enjoy a small portion of the famous "Leah tour of Atlanta." We returned to their house and enjoyed a wonderful meal prepared by Amy, who I must say prepared many excellent meals and is truly gifted and talented when it comes to cooking. We then officially started our counseling. Before each session we had a time of praise and worship followed by prayer and communion. Leah and Amy both wanted to make sure our hearts were pure and that there was absolutely nothing standing in the way of the wonderful work that was about to be done. We previously had submitted lists to Leah and Amy about what we would like to change about ourselves and each other. We went over each topic in detail and were given examples of how we could do things differently and eliminate and/or moderate the issue. My biggest issue to over come was my OCD, but I was very comforted by the fact that Leah and Amy had dealt with very similar situations in their relationship and showed me that it wasn’t a "quick fix" but something that T. and I would work on daily to overcome. So instead of me seeing it as a handicap I was opened to the realization that I could embrace my OCD and instead of it controlling me, with God's wonderful Grace and help, I could control it.

We addressed things that I would like to change with T.. The biggest revelation I had during this session was the fact that we didn't have to scream to overcome our differences. I did not have to threaten T. with an ultimatum and try to MAKE her change. I couldn't make her do anything. We were able to talk, partake in real communication, healthy communication, all of which I had never done. It was amazing to see what you could work out together when you just take a step back, lay it all on the table and talk. I began to see a whole new us, it was the most wonderful feeling. God, through Leah and Amy, lead us to a great place during that session. I remember feeling refreshed and at peace. I knew that the way my parents lived would not be the way T. and I would spend our lives together, I no longer had a fear of living unhappily married.

On top of the great sessions, great food and of course the wonderful tour, Leah and Amy introduced us to a really fun game, called Dutch Blitz. We had some good times around the coffee table playing too. It was here at this moment where I learned what Quality Time was all about. Shortly after coming home I ordered Dutch Blitz for me and T. We enjoyed playing together at home during our engagement; it proved to be a wonderful way to spend Quality time together. Now that we are married, I must admit this is not my favorite way to give T. my quality time. Nothing beats being snuggled up on the couch together with popcorn and a good movie.

Saturday was my most memorable day. It was the hardest session to get ready for, but the best session of the weekend. That morning after eating another tasty and more than filling breakfast we began to work on things of our past. We learned about unhealthy soul ties and generational curses. Through the power of scripture and prayer I was freed of some extremely heavy, tight soul ties. I forgave everyone one that had ever hurt me and I let go of that hurt and gave it all to God. I had yet to overcome my biggest unhealthy soul tie, which was my father. I didn't even consider him an unhealthy soul tie. Slowly but surely God begin to open my eyes to things that T., Leah and Amy all had been trying to get me to see. I didn't want to believe that my relationship with my dad could
be unhealthy; it hurt me to see him in that way. He was my dad! We prayed, we took communion. I was fighting such a spiritual battle and it showed physically. I was freezing, I could not get warm. I had jackets and blankets and my teeth were still chattering. We took a break and I made a comment that I didn’t understand why I was freezing the way I was. Leah and Amy just had this quirky smile on their faces and Leah said because something inside of you is dying. You know that I trusted Leah and Amy, still do, but at that point I was thinking yeah right but ok! We finished breaking and Leah asked me if I would do a bit of roll playing with Amy as my father and me....well as me. I said sure, but this was somewhat out of my comfort zone. Amy knelt in front of me and I talked to her and imagined her as my dad. (Oh this still gives me chills) At first I was submissive and meek but before it was over with it was like I was standing on top of this mountain and I was telling my father who I was and I wasn’t ashamed, and that there was no way he could ever bring me down with his words or opinions. Afterwards, Amy gave me the best hug it was FABULOUS, and it was over, a great burden had been cast into the bottom of the sea! God, through Leah and Amy’s ministry, freed me of years of guilt and submission with my family, and physically I was no longer freezing.

T. and I had changed into something beautiful. We looked different and our love was deeper than I thought it could ever be. Like I have said before words cannot describe what I experienced during our session on Saturday. God was so real, His presence was very overwhelming and moving. He was there, Hallelujah!

Sunday we went to church at New Covenant www.savedandgay.com and it was wonderful, things we had learned and even sung were reaffirmed in the worship service and sermon. We returned to Leah and Amy s and listen to a tape on Fornication. I cannot stress enough the important of keeping yourself pure for your wedding night. I thought it was a crazy idea when Leah asked when we were going to stop sleeping together. I didn’t want to at first, but I am so glad that we asked God to forgive us of our past transgressions and we begin to wait. It was hard but like always the hard work paid off. I cannot imagine what our wedding night would have been like if we had not had waited. All I can say about this is that after you are married and you consummate it completes everything. Your love grows into something so beautiful and strong. There is no doubt that God created sex for the sacred covenant of marriage. It is not comprehended any other way but spiritually. It connected me with T. in a way that still brings tears to my eyes. I love her and she loves me and because of the love and respect that we had for each other through our engagement we were able to experience our wedding night in the way it was intended by God and I know our marriage is on a firmer foundation because of it.

The weekend that I thought needed an agenda didn’t. God brought every detail together in perfect harmony through the obedience of our great Pre-marital counselors, Leah and Amy.

I hope I was not too detailed in describing our weekend. I didn’t want to miss anything at all, it is very important that I let you see how pre marital counseling is not just about better communication or how to handle each other when certain situations arise. If you are not 100% free and clear of your past you can never begin a future with someone else and honestly had the ability to give them 100% of yourself! T. and I use the tools that we were taught everyday. We are not perfect, but we do know the path to take in attempting a close to perfect marriage. Unhealthy soul ties can come back, it is a work in progress to keep yourself clear, you can begin to harbor hurt and anger again, it too is an everyday choice to keep yourself free from those burdens.

Pre-marital counseling is a must have. You have to prepare yourself with prayer and just complete trust in God that He lead you down this path to these wonderful people for a reason. I believe Leah and Amy went above and beyond their call with us. A lot of hours and hard work when into preparing us for our future, it was a job because we were a mess when they found us!

Prepare yourself for a blessing, keep yourself clean from lust and pre marital sex, get to know this person who God has chosen for you and let go of all of your personal reservations. Leah and Amy were called by God in this field of ministry. I promise you that if you commit to counseling with a clean, obedient heart that everyday you will reap wonderful blessing that will last throughout your engagement and marriage.

Fulfill ye my joy, that ye be likeminded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. -Philippians 2:2

Our Testimony - The Short of the Story
- by Leah

I am a native of Atlanta, GA (College Park). I became a Christian at the age of four. I love Jesus with all my heart. That is one thing that has never changed. When I was young I was called to be a counselor. And I would have never imagined that this was one way that I would be used for God's Kingdom.

Amy has been living in Atlanta since 1999. Amy’s home town is Phenix City, AL. Amy attended Church with her family some growing up, but she did not have a personal relationship with Jesus.

Amy and I met two months after she moved to Atlanta in a straight swing dancing club. She is a lesbian and I am bisexual. Our relationship was founded on drugs and sex. For approx. three years we did lots of those things. During that time I prayed and prayed for her salvation. Even on drugs I prayed for her and all our friends. I would tell Amy that she did not know how much I loved her. Even though she did not know what I meant by that, I was thinking... I am giving up Jesus for you. At that time I did not know that Jesus loves me just the way He created me, on the inside.

Suddenly, one day I knew I needed to find a Church and start going to Church again. I found one gay affirming Church and immediately joined that Church. There was one thing about it that wasn't right. It was a "dead" Church. Do you know how it is to go to a "dead" church? Well, it's not very fun if you know what an "alive" Church is like. For those of you who do not know what a dead Church is like, it is a very boring and un-interesting experience. An alive Church is filled with the Holy Spirit and thrives with the presence of God. Anyway, I asked Amy if she would go with me to Church. She agreed and I was so amazed. Before this moment, I would try to talk to her about Church and about God, but she would always respond with "I'm a good person".

Not long after I joined that "dead" Church, a friend started talking about a Church she was attending. She became a Christian there. I was amazed! It was a completely gay Church, and people are getting Saved??? I knew this girl, she really had gotten saved. I was blown away. Several conversations later, I went with her to Church. WOW! I found an all-gay Church which was "Alive". They had love that was very familiar to me. It was that same love I experienced in straight Churches. The Church was not any different than straight Churches. It was the same God that I knew in the Churches I was raised in. It was the same Bible that was taught to me and hidden in my heart at an early age. I finally found a place where I belonged. I found a Church family that was Family and loved me just the way I am.

Now, I ask Amy to go to this new Church with me and now she's mad. It was ok for her to go to the dead Church, but now she could tell a difference in me and even in the tone of my voice. She sensed that this was different than the last Church. She did not want me going to this new Church and she was not going to go with me.

A month later Amy went to Church with me. A couple of months after that, she asked Jesus to come into her heart. It was amazing!!!

Approximately a month later God told me to break up with Amy. I was so confused and broken. But even so, I knew it was God telling me to do it, so I had to be obedient. After several confirmations, I obeyed and broke up with Amy two days before Valentines day 2003.

Since then God has changed us both so much. We are two different people now in comparison to when we first met. Now we have a completely different relationship than what we had before. It is absolutely amazing. Now, it is built on the Rock of Christ Jesus. We began dating again January 1, 2004. We began exclusively dating at the end of August 2004. I proposed to Amy on April 13th 2005. She said yes! WOO HOO!

In July of 2005, Amy and I returned from pre-marital counseling in Texas. The same couple who will be marrying us is guiding us through pre-marital counseling. We spent a long weekend with them and it was amazing! (Just to be clear, I would like to explain "pre-marital counseling". Amy and I did not go to pre-marital counseling because we have issues. We went to pre-marital counseling to become more grounded, established, and stable in our relationship before we take the next big step of marriage. It's amazing how many people automatically think that counseling is a bad thing.)

So now we are happily married. God has blessed us so much. Marriage is wonderful and so different than I ever imagined that it would ever be. It was worth the wait for sex. It was a rewarding experience and something that I would never trade.

During our Pre-marital counseling weekend Amy and I both felt the calling to do pre-marital counseling for the LGBT community. However, we never imagined that it would begin so soon. In our minds we figured, maybe five or ten years down the road God will tell us to begin doing this.

To our surprise in 2006, a month and a half after Amy and I were married, God sent us a beautiful couple. We will call them A. & T. A's testimony is posted on your left.

We were so blessed by our pre-marital counselors, Bishop and Maddy. They were wonderful and spoke many great things into us. We were fortunate to have them marry us and impart things into our lives. We will never forget what they did for us and how they truly were used by God to help mold us Spiritually into more of what God has called us to be.

If you are looking for Christian Pre-Marital Counseling, Email us.

covenantcouple@lycos.com

You Will Be Blessed!

If you live in the Atlanta area and are looking for a good Church home where you wlil be accepted, check out New Covenant Church of Atlanta.